The cost

At times I see how I ran

And how much I was

Trying to escape that box

I had to consign my spirit to

When I knew

That the world did not take all the kindly

To me being myself

And so it was that I learned to fold

What was best of me up

Flat like an envelope

And I see now how slowly

I began to lose all hope

And truck with despair

And so was it any wonder

That on the brink of life

I crashed and burned at 43

While holding all the pain inside

And today when the judgement came again

Singing its oh so familiar

Self punishing refrain

I saw how I had once more

Lost the way to truth

All along I was innocent

And I struggled with powerful forces

Within and around me

So why is it that I judge so much

And doesn’t that all that judgement come

At one hell of a cost?