Worried

I know you worry more than you can say

And there is no way this worry will go away

As it rests on solid ground

And so when I say not to worry

Its actually my way 

Of dismissing the particular gravity

Of this time of year

I know you fear

Me being all alone again

But wasn’t it just the way it always was

So much so that later on 

I could not escape

Such a powerful pattern repeating

So if I tell you

I will draw comfort from the silence

Please do know its true

For this pain will always be here

And the best I can do is honour it

There are so many things I needed of you

But you were not capable of giving

Because perhaps you never truly knew

How it was for me

To be living 

In this particular family