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Not the whole of me

A trauma.jpg

You my traumatised self

Are not the whole of me

But at times

Like a demon

You possess me

Stealing away my breath

Convincing me that destruction

Is just a mistaken choice away

And then you make my days so hard

When the prospect of living

Seems scattered with hidden landmines

That are nothing but old memories

That have only the power I give to them

And yet this doomed wasteland

Is trauma’s terrible imprint

Convincing me the present is just like the past

And nothing good will ever last

Grinding to dust all promise of the good

Oh how I wish trauma would

Release its powerful hold

Over my soul

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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6 thoughts on “Not the whole of me”

  2. The truth of this piece is palpable, Deb.
    That feeling of complete and utter hopelessness, where nothing ever seems as if it will be good enough . . it’s the worst.

    Peace and blessings to you, my friend.

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    1. Its interesting Marc as I so often feel this on the Saturday which is the day I nearly died and even thought is so many years ago the feelings are still deeply there. Whenever I have panic attack it feels like the very end. Its so hard to articulate to someone who does not know trauma.

      Thanks so much for your peace blessings. I really needed them today. Hugs my friend ((–))

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  3. Let it out girl. You are facing this head on. You’ve given a voice to your trauma and now you are standing firm face to face to overcome and to heal. You’ve identified it, named it and now you have the power to conquer it. My prayers are with you.

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