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I had to say no!

I had to say no to about the 20th request from Scott today.  Its burning me up inside to do this and it means he cannot get out of where he is for his birthday.   I feel like the biggest heel at the moment but I have been helping and helping this guy for over 5 months now and I have just had enough.  He tries every guilt and manipulative tactic and plead on me and its breaking my heart but I consulted my inner guidance and it said a firm no!  I know I am going to be wrestling with this over the weekend and I am keeping my phone off so I don’t have to deal with texts.   I feel I just have to stand alone at present.  Being pulled on like this all the time is actually hurting me and the message I get is to shift my focus away.  But does this mean I am abandoning him? Even if so I have to remember he is an adult.  This is one of the hardest things I have ever done.

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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19 thoughts on “I had to say no!”

    1. That’s been the problem, Tanya my heart and head are divided at times and I don’t know where the instinct reside, in the gut right? But my abandonment wound I am seeing just makes me very vulnerable in relationships. Its painful. Thanks for your support though. ❤

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    1. Well he kicked up such a stink and then I felt so sad I ended up going back on my boundary. I am not feeling happy right now, I just ended up crying so much, I know he desperately wants to get out of where he is for his birthday but I just don’t believe in forcing my will others as he seems to be able to do but at this point I’ve been steamrolled, I am not a victim but this has made me feel so vulnerable.

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  5. I respect that it’s hard, but he is an adult and, as an adult we don’t need to highlight birthdays in this way! I don’t like the sound of all this pressure. Well done standing firm- hugs.

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  6. I agree with the commentor below… not liking the sound of the pressure he’s putting you under. To me that’s a big no-no and red flag to take care of your own soul and not having to feel guilty about it, although I know it’s easier said than done.

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  7. Deb,

    It’s SO difficult to be that person. But it happens, and you must be strong and stick to your convictions. Because to continue down the same road would do neither of you any good.
    Peace and love to you. You’ll get through this! 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Marc. I will thought when that kind of terror possesses you its entirely irrational and convinces you of all kinds of things and its hard to hold firm.

      I appreciated it so much you reached out to me, thank you again, Marc.

      Love and kindness Deb x

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