Birthing happy

Wanting me to be happy is not a crime

So why am I so down on you

For there are times with you

That laughter and jokes just bubble up inside

And I feel the light and life returning

To once dead places

But sometimes the more serious you get

With declarations of love

The more I want to poke holes in your argument

And get you to lighten up

Is this because, for much of my life

I have been far too wedded to joylessness and sorrow

To a no can do negativity at times

Carrying a host of fears and unresolved feelings

From generations past

Slowly I am realising

What’s past is past

And in the present

New choices can be made

On a brighter day

To see and feel and nurture

New seeds of beauty and happiness

Happiness that does not negate sadness

But is born from deep within it

From an encounter with a stark reality

That needs to be felt digested and shed.

For surely I say

To the inner fun police

It is not a crime to be happy

To birth joy from grief

And its never too late

To live a brighter tomorrow

And find a way back to laughter and joy

After years and years and years

Of almost drowning

In pain and sorrow