This is not life

Days like this I miss you

Even thought I do not miss

The pain you brought to me at times

But the moments when we were close

When we could connect

When we could just see each other deeply

And breathe into each other

With our hearts and eyes

These I miss as tears fall down like rain

I am seeing more and more

How tragic it is

That I came to associate living with pain

When really all it is meant to be

Is about joy and connection

And unconditional expression

So often blocked

So often trapped or locked so deeply within

Is it any wonder that we lose our spark

That in time our fire dies

And we end up laying exhausted somewhere

In a troubled wilderness

Haunted by ghosts

Unable to breathe

A full breath any more

This my darling is not living

This is not even fully existing

This is not what life wanted

When we were birthed into existence

This is not a life meant for any living human spirit

With a heart and will and mind

So my darling when you see the truth

Cry and rage or scream it out

But do anything you can

To summon up your will

And leave this pain behind