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Solitary

Alone .jpg

I look longingly that those lovers who pass me by

And wonder if I will ever hold your hand

When things go bad

And our dreams are thwarted

You say that happiness was never meant for you

Please don’t give up so easily

And please don’t blame yourself

For all along

It was hard for me to trust

And harder ever still

To see every effort turn to dust

But if I allow these failures

To turn my heart to rust

What will it bring

If I give up on everything?

I’ve been here so many times before

And so often I feel

My longings hopes and dreams

Always pass me by

As I watched the togetherness

Others share so effortlessly

My heart aches

But just for today

I don’t want to let this heartache

Destroy my day

For what if this togetherness

Is not meant for me?

What if I can only ever be

The one set apart observing

All things through a heart

And mind

For ever and ever

Meant to be

Solitary?

Unknown's avatar

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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7 thoughts on “Solitary”

  1. Great writing Deborah. I often feel like I’m meant to be alone, and that thought sometimes gives me a sense of peace, whereas other times a sense of loneliness and sadness. A couple of weeks ago I was telling my therapist how I don’t want to be in another relationship, but this week that’s changed again. I want to be in a relationship, but with someone with a secure attachment who won’t run from intimacy and will allow me the space and time for myself that I so desperately need and enjoy. And days like today, I feel like such a relationship just won’t happen for me. So this poem really resonates. ❤

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    1. “Yes its a real conundrum isn’t it Rayne. Lately with Scott I get what ever I ask for but I have always been run from or misunderstood in the past and my mother often told my father she would leave him when they argued (When really that is the last thing she would ever have done loving him so much) so when things get tough I tend to say I am out of here and that is the worst thing you can do as this latest book on intimacy I am reading by Stan Tankin shows. Securely attached people are out there, so don’t give up. But sometimes it all seems so impossible and unlikely and our heart breaks and go into a dark place. I deeply understand. But you are making such progress, Rayne I truly believe there is a wonderful someone out there for you, for you are a very special, soulful and beautiful person. Keep hoping even when it seems darkest. Big hugs to from me and Jasper ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Yes. I guess opening up our hearts is always a risk and we cant prevent being hurt. I guess its about opening fully to life once we have the belief we can find a way through hurt without being destroyed by it. Its not easy Beckie. Thanks so much for sharing how you feel. I am so grateful. xo

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