Anxiety

Anxiety you steal in

When my love is gone

And fears for his safety run around

Inside of me

I don’t know whether to stay awake or sleep

Or when we will finally meet

Because life is so unpredictable

But when I tell him so

He just says I need to stay strong and nurture a positive view

Why oh why is that so hard to do

When I have known so much disaster?

And the situation there

Is more and more dangerous every day?

After lunch I open the wooden box

And read the letters my father wrote to Mum

Waiting in Indonesia for her to arrive

After a boat voyage

So like the one my ancestors took

Just under a 100 years before

And I feel how in my soul I have always been alone

Aware of a great curse or burden

Even when surrounded by others

What was the distant pain that called on me

There have been so many endings

So many leavings

And so much loss

How do I quell this anxiety

To trust again?