The river that leads me to you

In present time

Here with you

Is where I want to live

I have lived too long in shadows

In haunting ghostly moments of yester year

Going over and over how it was

When the axe came down

Severing us all from love and connection

Launching me into a wilderness

My personal Under World

Of torment

And as I shed these tears

Frozen in time

By my own lack of compassion

For the younger self who suffered

So much loss

So silently

I begin to glimpse a bright star finally

Shedding its light

On my former life

  I see the goodness and the longing a

And the love that was there

Even if hidden

Or unspoken beneath the surface

And I feel too the great love I had for

My father

And as I do

A door that was locked shut so tight

Keeping me from you

Opens up deep within my heart

And I sense you as the great ocean

Come calling to me

From afar

By God knows what miracle

Bringing this flood

And I finally understand

Where my great rage came from

It was only grief

Twisted to another form

But now it is loosened

Like long tresses

I use the powerful flow of it as river

To find my way home to you

A way to finally love you wholeheartedly

With no doubt or reservations

Fully open and awake to life

Offering new opportunities

To undo the powerful pull of the past

Fully awake

In present time