A dark force

A force calls me out into the world

Into light life hope and love

While another force pulls me inward and down

It places a heavy boot on my chest

And will not let me rise

 No matter how hard i try

Instead it keeps me paralysed

Spewing doubt and fear

At every turn

Vanquishing love and connection

It puts me into an altered state where I am blind

And projects attack on love

So all I see is fear

And then I react from shielding and defence

And meanwhile all joy and possibility disappears

What this force is I do not understand

Only that I long so desperately to be free

From the suffering and the pain

That holds the paralytic claim

Over all the fear and darkness

Inside of me