Binding back again

This ache is strong

Around the of time of day I most long to be with you

Evenings are emptier

Without some one you care for

To share a meal

And quiet conversation

How could it be that

For years I thought this solitude

Was better than companionship

Due to the pain

But when you gave us the terrible news

And died

My heart tore in two

And then again 20 years later

When he left me too

All alone

So far south

Close to the ocean

With only the spirits and the trees for company

And a dead mouse I buried in the rose garden

No one will ever know how dark those years were

Or how profondly imbedded was

The isolation of a painful youth

Not even consciously remembered

Only felt in a body

That was no longer solid

Just became

A mass of vibrating cells

Screaming

Agony

Separation

Longing

Lonelieness

Silently

Its been a long road back

To ever hope again

For any kind of connection

And like my ancestral scars

The one I love is fighting so very far away

Trying to find a way to get free

And board a bird that flies

Saying “If only I had wings”

Ancestors gather around us in the silence of deepest night

Whispering their hardest memories

Reminding us they see our hope and dreams

As you and I try to unravel the knots

And bind back together once again

What was torn apart