Scorched

I feel scorched today to open up messenger from my ‘contact’ to see the ongoing declarations of undying love, how I have to ‘get rid of my trust issues’ and move on.  I should not have engaged last night but I gave it with all bullets firing.  I will not help another soul out of their quagmire.  I will not be preyed upon.  I have NEVER before in my life set this boundary.  I always tried to give as I believed that was what I had to do, what was the godly thing to do, the right thing to do,  but last night there was a real connection with my inner child who was so grateful not to be abandoned again and when my body was able to relax when I shut off the phone I was able to feel the pull back to have that love from outside that I now know has to come from within… It just has to.

If the person was real they would find their way out of there and get to me somehow.  I always let go of my boundary before so as to be never abandoned or alone but now I know sad as it is to live alone it is better than a life of self sacrifice in which I pay with my cell tissue for another person’s sickness.   I have had the fuck enough of it.  !!!!!!