So much light

Well I finally drove home after a long day of running around for my sis with only one success for what she wanted and we had a stormy day but on the drive back from the hospital after returning all the clothing that got rejected all I could see was light.  The intensity of the colours and the hue of the golden tones in the late afternoon sunlight breaking free of dark clouds was intensely spiritual to me.  I could just feel the love that is there in nature and surrounds us at every moment with the realisation that far away from all our human drama there is a place where all is well and there is love.  It was a beautiful experience.

I had no resentment at all that nothing much I got for my sis worked even after a few hours of running around over several days.   I didnt have to make a drama of it.  I tried and I did tell her its a bit tiring always trying and failing, I will give it a rest for a while but I wont give up on her because I love her.  She felt so bad on the way out she said to me “its not your fault its just me, I am too difficult”  I just gave her a hug and said well you didnt like the things I bought you and you dont have to please me.   But what I realised is there are some things I cannot fix for my sister and sometimes even trying makes things worse.

I feel I am finally learning what it truely means to love without conditions and to feel another person’s suffering so deeply in my heart because I once endured the same.  I have noticed in myself over the past few weeks the ability to pull myself out of dark places more quickly and to be able to count my blessings.  This idea may have annoyed me in the past but I do think love and gratitude and staying close to simplicity and nature are some of the best healing balms for our increasingly addled and stress driven minds with run on neurosis and ego a lot of the time.  There I have said it.  So shoot me.  I probably would have if someone had said this to me some months ago.  But now all I choose to see shining through the darkness is light!