When you are alone with yourself all the time with no one but yourself you begin to go deeper and deeper into yourself until you lose your self it’s a perverse contradiction. It’s like your ego begins to disintegrate until you have no ego not in the sense that you become humble or gain some kind of perspective but that you literally lose your sense of self. And I am not sure anyone unless they have gone through it can truly understand how profound that loss is it’s like the psychic glue that binds your whole notion of existence is gone and you become unglued: ” I think for I am ” :
” I think too much, therefore I am not I am not, therefore I am nothing” :
” I am nothing therefore I am dead, and then if I am dead, then why am I still so goddamn lonely?”
Daniel
Rectify Season 4 Episode 1
wow yeah! i hear ya! Im so sorry you’re experiencing it. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is actually a piece of text from the TV series Rectified and is Daniel’s voice I dont feel like that any more but its how I felt a lot before I healed and is part of being led to believe you are someone or have done something you are not or did not… thats why I shared it. ❤
LikeLike