The mistake in wanting

The mistake in wanting that I saw

Was about how wanting could end in tears

And how if the drive to want was overblown

Could run amock

And like a freight train

Destroy unremittingly all who got in the way

Of its manic trajectory

And so I learned

To bury and mistrust wanting

I turned away

And hid my true want from myself

So now if all I want seems over blown

Maybe it is not

That way

Maybe old repressions on my energy

Are lifting

To clear an open landscape

Where wanting can be a source of power

That does not automatically lead

To tragedy

 And to a place where

Wants left unfulfilled

Can be surrendered

Rather than endlessly turning round and round deep inside

Like a painful screw

Or becoming a bed of nails

I force myself

To lie upon