Do not disturb!

Past memories

I realise

Now live in another room

I never lock the door

But apprehension now

Leads me to believe

That door needs a sign

Do not disturb!

The shadows of those memories

Of the last moments of both your lives

Where I sat bedside

Patiently holding your hand

Waiting for death to come

Steal in as reminders

And yet today

All around me is light

And I am not sure what to make of it

This bittersweet pain

I know that I can think too much

And how much that can

Rob me of these feelings that just arise within my heart

At unexpected moments

Of how alone I feel

And of how no one seems to think of me

The way you both used to do

If I dwell here

Then surely my heart will break in two

And I will no longer have the energy to look outside

Even though I know how much

It is really love inside

That sustains me from within

Memories come of how

I left him so alone

And my heart breaks in two

All over again

But I was alone too

When my heart remained unseen

So was it wrong

To seek another way

Even though it ended in tears

And so many years

Now separate me

From these memories

I am still aware of this door

Do I open it or keep it closed

Or do I just walk by

Acknowledging the pain and love

Within contained

While moving towards

A new place

A new space

Where these painful memories

No longer so disturb