Staying calm in a crisis

We always have the opportunity to modify our reactions to stressful events when they occur.  This involves skills of self soothing that many of us who were not lovingly nurtured or were subject to a parent or siblings stress in our childhood did not learn to do.  When we are feeling sad or angry or going through challenges or upsets or difficulties we can speak soothingly to ourselves and give our selves love and a dose of calm

Being able to sit or stay with ourselves and speak in a kind way goes a long way towards combatting destructive or beat up voices, as does just bringing our attention to this present moment and the feeling of the breath in our body.

I love this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh which appears on his Facebook philosophy page :

Our mind is often thinking about one thing while our body is doing another. Mind and body are not unified. Conscious breathing is an important link. When we concentrate on our breathing, we bring body and mind back together and become whole again.

When we are going through a difficulty or upset we can do this practice.  We can sit with ourselves, put the focus on our breath, and bring our attention inwards to self soothe. We can then look for what we might also need to do to take care of ourselves in that situation.

Yesterday when I lost my car keys on a hot midday walk with Jasper I was tempted to get anxious and panic, but I made a deliberate effor not to engage in damaging or punsishing and stressful thoughts and fears.  I kept my focus on trying to find them and when that failed I decided what needed to be done.  Go to a house for help, ask them to phone taxi to take me home get the spare key and return.

At one point I started to beat myself up and grieve over losing the keys but at that point I knew it would serve no purpose so I just sayed with my body, being and breath during the above process and in time I was back safely in my car with the spare key.    My keys have not turned up even after several attempts to find them, but I ended up having a calm and peaceful afternoon.  A few years ago this would have frazzled me to the max but yesterday I got through, by being kind, proactive and staying present instead of flipping out.  Phew!!!  Maybe I am learning now not to hold onto stress so much and retraumatise myself with panic.   It was an achievement.