You led me to truth

When all around me seemed so dark

When I tried so hard and still found myself wanting

When the desire I had to reconnect others

Whose mother wound was deep

Ended in death

Then you gave me a resting place

To grieve

And shed these tears down to my core

Illuminating all the fears that I had of badness

You showed me with your calm and steady presence

That the ghostly echoes left inside my mind

Lied

That I

For a moment at least

Allowed there to be moments of deep connection

Heart to heart

And soul to soul

For something far far more embeded was being played out

With the dying of an old order

Jesus said that new wine cannot be put into old skins

And so the skin must be shed

For life to live on

Most often birthed out of tears

And great great sorrow

That with the falling wash away the sediment of ages

That obscure a heart of wanting

A heart of love

So now

When I break apart

While you bear witness to the truth for me

I realise I gave as much love as I could

At every step of the way

This for me is a birthing

That may never have been possible

Had I not kept trusting

Kept moving forward through my fear

And so now I can finally stand liberated

With a heart that has birthed happiness

Out of almost unbearable sorrow