Personal reflections on our need to be seen

I really do think the most important of our life lessons lies in seeing and knowing ourselves deeply.  I think one of the signs of emotional maturity and growth is when we can come to know and respect how we deeply feel inside and take care of our precious human bodies knowing they are repositories for our feelings, emotional life, spirit and soul.  And a harsh truth is that in life not every one is going to see us, but the most important thing is that we dont shame or judge ourselves for this but realise that person will never be able to see and accept in another person qualities they have not made a relationship with or connection with inside themselves.

There is a famous quote and I am not sure who wrote it but it says “we see the world not as it is, but as we are.”  There is a truth to this and there is also a truth that if we are deeply sensitive we can see the pain and suffering in the world because we have known pain and suffering and hopefully learned not to fight against it but rather embrace it and help it to deepen us into our spiritual life.

I think this is one of the key lessons of learning to develop a healthy narcissism.  In this healthy narcissism we see that not everyone can meet us in the place where we need to be met, but that does not mean there is anything wrong with us and yes that can be a real pain in body heart mind and soul because naturally we want to be connected and to be seen and known.  As children we literally rely on this for our existance.  As a baby we have to cry to get the food we need from Mum or the attention and so it is with our body we need to learn to hear the deep cries from within which may come in the form of anxiety or other symptoms that are our feminine soul crying out to us.  This is something Alexis Rose spoke of in the post I reblogged just before this one.

I am finding now that I am in a place where I see and know myself more deeply, from that place I am less demanding of the need for others to see and know me, and yet I also know there is deep in me a hunger for real, true deep connection where I am seen and known, where another soul is kind enough to give up their self involvement just for a while to extend the hand of friendship or concern or caring or love.  And hopefully I too can do this for others and it is this reaching out in love that then helps them and me as well.

I dont log onto Facebook often these days but today I had to get on there to access a message from my cousin and I came across a video from Russell Brand on how important letting go of our self obesssion is in order that we reach out to others.  He is also in 12 step recovery and in this programme the 12 th step involves reaching out to help others.  But I do feel this reaching out needs to come without an agenda or from the point of view of ‘doing good’, hopefully instead it is an opening of our heart, love and soul to another human being who we see not as other or stranger but as brother or sister.

I just logged back onto Facebook to find this video (unsuccessfully) and there was another post from a woman in the UK saying how some days she does not see or talk to anyone.  I was thinking in that situation how important it would be to at least find some kind of involvement or connection at the same time I do feel that so many of us hunger to be connected at a less superficial level.  There is a level on which we would like to be known, but I do feel our deepest need is to know ourselves, to be present for ourselves and to be a good mother to our inner body and inner self, to open a dialogue within that touches us and connects us in the most essential core of being.  Much suffering often arises from our lack of inner connection and then the hunger to be seen and known grows more and more.