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How Narcissists Convince Victims They Are The Problem

A helpful post for why we can continue to blame ourselves after being involved with narcissists.

CynthiaBaileyRug's avatarCynthia Bailey-Rug, Christian Author

Narcissists have a way of making their victims feel like we are the problem.  This is awful for the victims, because as a result, we end up tolerating their abuse for years.  We think they’re good to put up with us, & we try harder & harder to be good enough for them.  Meanwhile, as we’re losing ourselves in trying to please the narcissists, the narcissists are gaining tons of supply.

So how does this happen?  How can a person honestly believe they’re the problem when the narcissist clearly is?  Narcissists accomplish this in several ways.

Projection.  Narcissist always accuse others of their own flaws.  This makes a person feel inadequate.  A person may even become angry but feels they don’t have the right to be angry since they are the flawed one.

Narcissists don’t examine their behavior, only yours.  If you’re angry with a narcissist, all that narcissist…

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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9 thoughts on “How Narcissists Convince Victims They Are The Problem”

    1. Yes, freedom finally is being able to breathe. Did you have ongoing panic or PTSD coming out of it. Mine lasted for a long time afterwards. I still am coming out of it as things he said still go around in my head. I have needed a lot of therapy to get free. ❤

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  3. I’m thinking my partner may be a narcissist. Her actions are bossy and demanding to the point that my condition or problems are not relevant -she has to come first. It is a struggle to compromise at times… i think it’s getting worse.

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      1. We are going to counseling for couples next week. We’ve done this before but now it feels worse and I’m initiating the conversation this time. I will not surrender myself to this anymore and I’m going to tell her that in front of her therapist. I’m interested to see how she reacts and what her therapist advises.

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