Mother Ocean

Mother

You are my link to being

To earth

To my body

And also to my deepest soul

When that connection is broken or damaged

I am a satellite floating through space

Untethered to anything

Emptiness haunts me

And unrequited longing floods my cells

But in a place deep beyond mental knowing

I just feel lost

And as if I cannot breathe

Now when I see how your life is leaving

I see so much more than I ever could before

How can I explain it in words

It is impossible

And so in this hospital room I sit silently

Watching your hooded eyelids droop

Under the seduction of sedation

Pulling you inward

Down so deep

So very far from me

But in that silence

A deeper infinitude opens up

And I am floating in a sea of memory

And my heart and soul is telling me truths

We lived through over years

Of our connections

And disconnection

Times your heart ached for me

And you tried to be there

Times you let me down

And I was so angry

Now I know that love

Was really the foundation of it all

Given or withheld

But you will always be my ocean

And when you are gone

You will surround me

As wave after wave cleanses me

Restoring me to

Profound understandings

Impossible to express