On trusting ourselves and being separate

So often we do not learn to trust the guidance we feel within and this happens most particularly when we do not get to develop a deeper intimacy and awareness of our emotions, intuitions and feelings.  This distance from self or the effort to change or deny ourselves may be a result of invalidation or it may come out of a fear of separation and or abandonment.  Once we know where those wounds and fears lie we are in a better position to not be as ruled by them and the anxiety they create.  These two following meditations focus on trusting ourselves and accepting separation, that we do not have to change ourselves or try to change anyone else in order to feel okay.

Trusting Myself

Today I see that when I trust myself, I needn’t worry about whether or not I trust others.  People in my life will not necessarily be trustworthy every step of the way.  If my focus is always on whether or not I can trust others, I will postpone my peace of mind and sense of security indefinitely.  It is my own reactions that are important to listen to, understand and act on. When I can trust myself to hear and respond to my own inner voice, then I feel at home and unthreatened in the world.  When I wait for others to prove that they can be trusted before I will trust myself and act on my own behalf, I give away my power.

I have a trusting relationship with myself

I Can Learn to Separate

Today, I am aware of my fear of being separate.  It takes subtle forms because I fear abandonment and rejection.  If someone I love disagrees with me or holds a different point of view, I get scared and want either to pull away or to argue until their point of view matches mine.  I am aware now that these are separation issues.   I was afraid that if I separated from my parents and family that no one would be there when I returned, that this would somehow have changed or be different.  I did not have the important experience of leaving and returning over and over again, learning that I can be separate and still be connected.  I see now that I need to work on this issue so that I can come to understand that I can have both self and intimate relationships in my life.

I can learn to separate and retain both myself and another

Self love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self neglecting.   

William Shakespeare

Source : Tian Dayton, Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On