The past is gone? : reflections on being in the moment

The past is gone why isn’t it gone from me?

Sometimes I am present to myself in this moment

And in this moment there is no past.  I am at peace.

Just a moment ago I immersed myself fully in this present moment

Let me tell you for me it involved warm sunlight on jacketed skin

It made me weep so deeply the feel of the love and benediction

Of being able to be with and fully feel this sunlight touching me

Sensation far from thought

But thought could engage with it to appreciate it more deeply

In that moment of pure pleasure I heard an inner voice that said to me

It is enough just to allow yourself to ‘be’ in this precious moment

Where there is no past or present only the now

This moment of being kissed and embraced and yes even massaged by the sun

Breathe, open to the breath

But not as conscious intent

Rather as action taken in this moment

Already removed from you by words and memories

And yet it also seems that such things do not negate the need the past has to rise up

Painful memories and feelings from times long past do emerge from the deep underground sea

But with time if we let them arise and feel their full onslaught in time they also do recede

When we are awake and alive only in this present moment

That is a gift

And for today maybe just being is enough

Maybe all that is being asked of me is to rest

And find the gratitude in my heart that naturally arises

On the sunny days when I feel myself to be held

Quietly, silently in love

After a dark time when painful truths

Scoured out so deeply inner recesses of my soul