The kindness of a soft man

So tired today

The gardener Rob came to the door and I just broke down

He gave me a hug

Such a sweet balm this kindness

Angry words you said revolve in my head

“I don’t spend my whole life sad and jealous”

Do you really see or know me?

Is that really how I am?

Have you known the sadness I have known?

Do you see the times I laugh and reach out to connect

Now I feel such shame

For the weakness of feeling that often opens up in me

Feeling if only I was better

But I am me

Flawed

Human

Mixed up at times

At times angry

At times sad

At times confused

And yet choosing to live anyway

Even on the tough days

I am emptied out today

Thank God for the kindness

Of the soft man

Who just listened heart to heart

For that unconditional acceptance

Cause conflict burns

And it may take time for the charred forest to clear

But I am sure in time there will be new shoots

Emerging out of this scalded wreckage

For that is life

So today

I hold onto that goodness

That softness

That tenderness

In the midst of the tiredness

Left by the conflict that burned