I wasn’t a ‘success’ : I was just a very human being

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For anyone out there who has laid awake or even woken with the kind of thoughts spoken about by Thomas Moore in his book Dark Nights of the Soul , the following excerpt may prove to be both consoling and enlightening.

Every life is full of garbage – wasted time, failed endeavours, broken relationships, bad decisions – to be offered at that strange alter of this night goddess, the place where three roads meet in an uncanny haunt of ghosts and magic. If you don’t honour this night spirit, what do you do with all this trash?  You probably take it literally, associate it with your “self” and feel guilty.

What people today call “losing self esteem” might be nothing more than the highly visible waste material of a life that needs a  home and that shouldn’t be attached to the self.  When thoughts come to you deep in your dark night – that your life hasn’t amounted to anything, that you’ve wasted a lot of time, or that you aren’t as good as some friend or celebrity, thoughts of regret, bitterness and self loathing – you might consider the necessity of these annoying preoccupations.  They don’t literally make you garbage, they merely allow you to see this all important emptiness in your accomplishments.

The fact is we are all Charlie Chaplin tramps failing to fully realise our expectations.  One of the most telling myths for my own life, a truth my family likes to remind me of, is Mr Magoo, a man disastrously oblivious to the world around him.  He climbs unknowingly into a bus,  with weak eyes he confuses a mannequin for a friend. and constantly forgets what he was just about to do.  I know him well. Thoughts like these which you might well entertain late at night help you rediscover your humanity and give you the greatest blessing of humility.  Where but in darkness could you find this insight?

The truth is failures and successes always fade away.  I am not meaning to imply that trying and succeeding and manifesting are not good things or even things to aspire towards by posting this. But I do hope that if you find yourself at times buried knee deep in a field of broken dreams you treat yourself kindly in the midst of the wreckage you find there.

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Dark Night of the Soul, Failure, Inner CriticTags4 Comments

4 thoughts on “I wasn’t a ‘success’ : I was just a very human being”

  1. It almost feels like to you have to become a realist of a desperation type to reach a sense of euphoria …Is ignorance bliss? possibly if you are financially stable I guess because thoughts can be exhausting lol

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      1. I have listened and read a lot of work by Eckart Tolle and he is very powerful when it comes to though process…he has a book THE POWER OF NOW ,its great ,at least for me

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