Learning to stay : helping ourselves heal trauma

A huge part of being impacted by trauma is that we get endlessly trapped in reactivate responses to rhe painful sensations associated wit our trauma, the four F reactions of flight, fight, fawn or  freeze.

While caught up in these reactive states we are often not actually feeling consciously what conditions or experience of trauma are driving us.  And often we end up generating more pain since others react to our reactions (all of which are totally real considering the trauma we have been through) and/or we are so busy reacting to our reactions surrounding  our true feelings and sensations of our trauma, our sadness or pain are not fully felt and released.

From my experience it is only when we learn to listen in and stay present with our self and trauma that we find ways to understand, detach from and move on from our trauma.  This is a long and difficult process, however if we can treat ourselves compassionately from this place and find others we are safe with too we can begin to release or unwind the tightly coiled up multi faceted experiences of trauma and blocked, trapped or repressed energy.

We do this by staying present with sensation wide and awake, as painful as this can be, as much as part of us wants to resist this process.

Learning to stay present with ourselves and create a sense of safety is so necessary to this process as we need islans of pleasure and safety, a resource base of positive sensations and things that ground us in safety and provide a healing antidote to the terror and  frozen immobility that can accompany our trauma.

When we have established these resouces and safe, pleasant places to return to we can revisit traumatic memories and sensations even for an instant and not be totally overwhelmed.  We can recognise when we are being flooded or overwhelmed and self soothe by talking kindly to ourselves.  Instead of endlessly retraumatising and retriggering our trauma and getting trapped in a repetitive story line or anticipations of doom we can acknowledge how we are feeling, feel the feeling and release the feeling.

This takes time and involves developing slowly a tolerance for groundlessness or instability while still touching a place of stability in the present moment.  From this place we watch emotions and feeling states arising and falling instead of reacting and splitting off, we experience the powerful sensations of buried trauma : burning, heat, fear, hyper arousal, coldness, trembling, shaking etc and provide an open ground within which they can move, shift and transform.

When we hit the edge of a trauma or painful feeling we may feel fear.  We can notice fear and walk forward into the fire and it will pass as we accept the fear, notice the fear, even by labelling fear, fear.

We can feel sad and cry, we can feel how rage feels, we can notice how thought calms or amplifies it, we can choose to watch and accept just this little more capacity to stay rather than attach, clamp down, hold on for grim death, or run  We can choose to contact the immediacy of our experience and feel safe in time.  We can learn that we do have the capacity to bear and release our feelings without being totally undone. We can reach out to others who can soothe us and can understand.

Trauma specialist Peter Levine uses a technique of pendulation to help clients heal from trauma.  By helping trauma sufferers to find a resouce of grounding and safe space he helps them move between this and powerful trauma experiences stored as vibration and sensation in the body which can feel absolutly terrifying and overwhelming. He helps them to learn how to move back and forward and in accepting the contraction of trauma states move through into expansion and release.

He helps sufferers to anchor in good sensations so the powerful magnetic charge of trauma doesnt totally posses them.  It takes time and courage to go on this journey of learning that in facing and integrating sensations we can in time find freedom from trauma.

It helps to know there is help and a place we can go to, things we can do to help ourselves and heal.  The following resouce which explains Levine’s 9 stage process for working with trauma could be a good starting place: www.nicamb.com/peterlevine-trauma/free report/