Our true responsibility is to ourselves. Wise thoughts on relationships from some one in recovery.

I found these inspiring quotes on a blog which came up via a link to a post I wrote on authenticity today. I am sharing them both for myself and for others who struggle. The reference source is listed at the end. I am sorry I could not provide the url link today.

You are not responsible for the expectations others place on you. You are not responsible for the happiness of others. You are only responsible for making sure you are living authentically and doing the things necessary to be okay.

Sometimes you just gotta give people the space to be who they are and how they want to behave and adjust your closeness to them accordingly.

When I started to become emotionally sober after a couple of years clean I couldn’t bear the pressure of solving issues that should have been my friend’s responsibility any more. I could feel that my friends did not accept me changing because they weren’t ready to let me off the hook for the times I was a nightmare too. They didn’t owe me forgiveness or acceptance, and I didn’t owe them either.

Signs you are emotionally drained by someone.

You are ruminating about your interactions.

You feel anxious and uneasy around them.

You are resentful of them.

You doubt yourself after you interact with them.

You dread spending time with them.

You ignore their texts or calls.

You are always worried about them and their issues and put them over yours.

You need to unwind after talking to them.

You need to vent to others after being around them.

You experience physical symptoms or anxiety after being around them.

You minimise your issues around them because you don’t feel that they can support you.

You make up excuses not to be around them.

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Bids of self improvement are pretty irritating to people who have no desire to change.

(Rumi expressed it like this. ‘Those who don’t want to change, let them sleep.’)

Some people will judge and punish you for changing. Some people will celebrate and support you for growing and changing. Choose your circle carefully.

We can deepen our healing when we stop pontificating and dissecting our partner, friend, or family member’s narcissism or emotional unavailability and begin asking ourselves “why I keep pursuing and choosing people who cannot love or care for me in the ways I truly need?”

Sometimes you need to stop seeing the good in people and start seeing what they show you (and believe them the first time.

Source : WordPress Blogger : Confessions of an Auteetotal Tattooer, Lala Inky :

Release and Rise, 1 August 2022