infinite source

The ground beneath my feet

Was never steady

Shifting sands

Moving tides

Tiny vessels rocked about madly

By wild winds

That is how it felt to my soul

Surviving your storm

Now I have lived the nightmare

I can see

How much of it I had to contain

There never was a safe place for me

And so I ran

So desperately

But that desperation

In the end

Became my teacher

Now when I hear of how others suffer

I understand

Sometimes this life becomes too much to bear

With no way at all to find the meaning

Only projecting it

How then can we know love and protect

Our own heart?

Lately I let all of these memories

Wash over me

I allow the storm a way to pass

Over

Around

And through me

I know now the storm was true

And it took so much

But now as I gaze upon the glistening waters

I allow my body to sink down

To be held and loved

Fully supported by the earth

This was never possible

For all of the years

Living and being

(And often breathing)

Seemed impossible

Lately it seems as though

My heart has entirely

Broken open

And in the breaking I know that I am finding

The solid ground I lacked

The infinite source of love

I always longed for