Struggle/obliteration

Struggle

It’s all that I do

I blame myself

But why didn’t you help

Why should you?

Why should I need?

I am not a child

I feel so young though

Am I not human

Allowed to be a mess

And the truth is that

My skin has not grown yet

Over the tender raw places

I long for you

And then you disappear

I get angry then

And a storm rises up

But this is all just changing weather

Rising and falling

Falling and rising

There is a wild sea today

All around me it churns

This restlessness I feel

My mind is creating most of it

So if I complain

Then please be patient

Part of me sees the panic

And questions it

I am alive

I am not dying

Why does everything feel

So terribly extreme

Why does it always feel like I am about to cut my feet

On the shattered glass of myself

That keeps being blown open

In this obliteration.