Death you are with me daily
Hidden deep inside the fearful voice
Telling me that the risk of choosing
Both life and love is not safe
Death you were the phantom that hovered around me
As I stood on the fragile precipice
Of adolescence
As I took the risks to look elsewhere
And then nearly died
As a result
Death you are the killer that does not love
The whole of me
The part of my conditioning that puts my soul
Into the deep freeze
Death you visit me in symptoms
That arrive like a storm
I wake up inside
Feeling supremely disoriented
And unbeknownst to me
You contain fragments of every single trauma
That my ancestors suffered
Death you fear my emotional being most of all
But that part of me
It needs to come alive
To be heard
And deeply felt
So every day it seems
I must take the risk
Of truly opening myself
Heart and soul to life
Because the truth is my dear friend
I truly do not
Wish to die
because of how we’d been hurt, we’d shut down, keeping the world out, and that’s a lonely way to live out our existence, and we eventually learn, through our experiences of all those hits, misses, that it’s better that we had, loved, that we’re, able to love another, even if those we love can’t reciprocate, because it’s their problems that they don’t know what love is, but we do, and that makes us that much better than they are!
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so so so true
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