Alone

Why pull away

When I needed you?

Did it feel safer

Being alone?

Knowing no one ever

Was that close to home

Open or present

Or still enough to hear your heart?

Why stay apart

When I really needed you?

Denying to myself the truth

I see it now

And also the way our hidden grief

Replayed

And why it was I cried

Leaving you

That late December day

There was an ocean to cross

To get back to you

But the sea was ever so rough

The swell was high

And at the stage

I had no faith I could

Ride the tide

And not feel my entire being

Obliterated

By the swell

And so we fought

Then it was

I turned a deaf ear

A blind eye

At times

To your need

Never feeling safe enough

To fully accept my own

That my dear is the sad reality

And why I always seemed

To find myself

Alone

In those following years

There was an ocean to cross

A full tide of feeling

To navigate

For me to be cleansed

To have my heart’s clouded vision

Cleared