It’s okay to take time working through neglect and trauma

Its okay to take it easy

Its a release to cry when I feel hurt or sad, I do not have to ‘reframe’ the experience to make it more accessible or appealing to other’s agendas. A sense of a new frame will come with time and the working through of my sadness and other emotions.

Its safe for me to feel anger, although it may not feel it, if anger was not allowed healthy expression as I grew or I witnessed it being ised abusively. Anger is a cry about violation and comes from the True Self, however it is not always helpful or safe to act out my anger, most especially with violators, minimisers or people who gaslight or lack true insight into my issues and history.

Its good to seek the comfort of others when I feel needy and am healing if I am also taking care of myself the best I can. Sometimes in early stages I am in a very young or needy parts of the self, this is okay and perfectly understandable coming out of neglect. This parts need time to grow and help to understand hidden needs never allowed expression in my family.

A deep fund of lack of nurture cannot be healed or even understood quickly. If I was born out of dysfunction and raised in high anxiety or high stress environments I lack an ability to self regulate or even make sense of reactions, feelings and emotions at first. However I can learn about them in time as I seek to find healthier ways to validate and understsnd my anxiety, reactions or other buried emotions.

I will not necessarily find understanding from those invested in denying their own feelings, in fact often I may be shamed or seeking support from those who do not understand may make things worse. Not everyone is prepared to do the hard work of healing and birthing deeper insight and compassion. Feeling deeply carried pain takes time and lots of patience as well as a growing ability to sit with it in compassion in order to awaken.

Its important for me to have fun. I need a sense of play and joy in every day. Coming out of super intense trauma life assumes a heavy and serious texture, trauma slants my thinking towards the negative at times it can fix my gaze on dark places and events, I DO NEED TO SEE THEM but getting fixated there may paralyse me. The intensity of what I feel in exploring past wounds must be felt but as I grow I need a loving inner mother and father to help me hold that intensity until.it can build and discharge. This often will not be understood in a society that does not validate trauma.

As I undertake this painful.work I need lots of time to rest relax and heal. I allow myself that time and do not shame myself for relaxing or resting. No matter what any one says it’s nit ‘taking too long’ the tears and anger will lessen in time as I learn how to be present to myself and others in their entirety.