sometimes

Sometimes it was so lonely and cold

Waiting for you to notice me

Sometimes sadly

I felt the only value I had

Was the one radiating out from your eyes

But your messages of love were

Only sent to entrap me

Part of me feels sad about it

But luckily a more realistic part knows this is just

The sad state of life and of a heart

That longs to taste

(if only for a brief moment)

Heaven on earth

And yet

Surely not all is lost?

Sometimes after disappearing from view

Heaven appears miraculously

On a day when the sunlight falls a certain way

When a friend passes by

Or the postie gives me a smile

And then on other days big rain clouds gather

As we drown in a deluge

(just like today)

And yet

Is not life still wonderful?

Still full to the brim of

All of this pain and beauty

All of this longing and hoping

And then the sudden and painful surrender of hope

That enables us to glimpse

A fiery light of brighter meaning and purpose

Still shining constantly

From somewhere deep within