Joy

I lose sight of you joy

When painful feelings of old come visiting me

Haunting my waking moments

Then my breath seizes inside my chest

As I remember how it was for love

To be withdrawn

Leaving me falling into the void

Yet I had to face myself

And the fact no one wanted to stay

Is not life all about the leaving

Sometimes?

And is that why I turned my back?

Joy

You arise sometimes like a sacred blessing

An when you arrive my heaviness lifts

My heart is no longer weighted down by stones

I watch the birds fly

And take pleasure in the sky

Even as I long for my freedom

But I must own it

Joy

You remind me that this moment is all there is

Even though memories still live

Sinking and rising with no pattern

Is this not life

So are you not

The other side of pain and loss?

Joy

Are you not the hidden gift

That most reveals its blessing

When our hearts open

After making the choice

To admit to and consciously release

The past?