Icy pathways

I walk the icy pathways as you did

Lungs bracing the air

Dancing to my inner rhythms

Trying to stay alive

Connecting at times

With the passers by

Who run, walk briskly or ride

Underneath the heavily laden winter skies

At times lately my breath leaves me

As I struggle for air

Death hovers at the edges

As I hear the ancestral voices calling me

At times it seems

Trying to sever me

Entirely

From love

Trust

Connection

I wept for you so much yesterday

Mum

I know you said the same

That until Nana died

There were so many many things

You could not realise

How mistaken I was

But how can a child ever really know

The truth of those things you hide or bury

That were to painful

Impossible

Or confusing to name?

Or of your unearned and invisible shame

Masquering as so many other

Confusing emotions

So I bear them now in yet another

Indecipherable form

As I dance out this rhythm

Of life

Praying to the angels

For the intuitive knowing

To make the right moves

That will release all of this feelings

Carrying all of our souls

To freedom