shame dump

Your best friend knew you well

He saw the truth

And said to me in later years

It was not fair the way he used you

Like a bar of soap

To wash his dirty hands clean

Why is it that I fall prey to this

Set up to give and give and give

Then to be criticized and shame dumped

For not ‘trying harder’

Or ‘measuring up’

Can’t you see how crazy I drive myself

Seeking to feel I have worth

From outside

Why was it so necessary for me to see myself

As valuable in your eyes

That I disguised the truth

Even from myself?

Was it just my inner child

Running ragged in fear

Longing to be seen

Then blaming myself?

No more

I must not give her away

There surely must come a day

I value myself

And do not allow you to

Take all of your garbage

And dump it on me