Many men alive now are so deeply wounded in their feminine side and its all a call to wake up.. I just read this post on the Ascension and Energy Shifts group page I am a part of on Facebook.
My friends(all I’m different states)and I have noticed something happening with men. This is not an attack on men at all, I just want to make that clear. This is merely an observation of the men we have in our lives right now, and also wondering if this is happening I’m anyone else’s lives or maybe if you’re a man and recently started feeling differently…note that the men in our lives are not awake either….So it seems like every man in the lives of my friends and myself have been acting differently, they’re cold, slightly evil, but at the same time needy and almost chauvinistic. Narcissistic, victim-y, and completely lost in their own realities. There are more things going on but I’m not trying to write a book. Almost like they’re trying to gain control and power over the women. Also unwilling to see themselves in a negative light. They’re merely shells of their former selves. What is going on?
It made me realize how deeply ignorant a lot of women are about the core wounds in men and how much our culture has dominated us with the heroic ego conquest ethos of patriarchy.. Now I do not want to be down on men but we need to call a spade a spade, this will not heal if men do not begin to give up the illusion they are ‘the stronger sex’ and more powerful than women, they are not.. But men also need their women to embrace their vulnerable side as well and not feel threatened if a man whats to engage in chivalrous acts.
In toxic narcissism we stay firmly on the invulnerable/power over dynamic of the spectrum, we eschew any form of vulnerability at all. Being too empathic we collapse emotional intelligence to keep the peace. I do realize that a lot of men are terrified to be vulnerable but I am big listener of sensitive talk backs on this issue especially around mental health issues and there are so many men out there trying to make a shift.. That said women have to be careful not to emasculate men.. Its a sad fact that perhaps the masculine ego is even more shaky or vulnerable than we might realize.. Its really a fearful and threatened man who tries to exert power or control over a woman and to do so he has to have erected massive defences against vulnerability and have been conditioned to hate that side of himself.
As someone interested in the male female dynamic and someone who had men reject her a lot I have done a lot of listening to relationship coaches such as Matthew Hussey, Matthew Boggs and Brian Nox.. These guys help to educate women about the differences between the sexes in the way we approach relating and communicating. I have found listening to them very enlightening.
I just wanted to raise this issue today, especially after reading that comment online.. I had an ah ha moment after listening to one of Matthew Hussey’s videos the other night into why my ex Phil flipped his lid one day with me and went almost psychotic.. I was at his house and found a piece of paper from a charity thanking him for his donation. Since he earned so little I was so touched at that and said to him how sweet was.. My God you would have thought I had killed his dog.. he raged at me and then went outside and proceeded to hammer something.. At that point he lived 12 ks from me and I had stayed at his place without my car and had no way to get home apart from possibly calling a taxi, I did not know what to do but Matthew raised that issue in a video I watched late last week and said never to say “how sweet” or “how cute” to a guy about his work or generosity as it would make him feel ‘less of a man’. Then the penny dropped. Gosh many masculine egos must be so vulnerable.. That according to the Course in Miracles would be a call for love but what if the man is so super invested in denying any shred of vulnerability at all.
Now do not get me wrong I personally know there are good men out there perhaps prepared to or looking at this issue and as Brian Knox claims men need women around them to educate them in empathy if they are not male empaths or HSP’s because it is clear many many of those men do exist and I have them in my family.
Sad to say that when my ex and I broke up and we never got each other fully and it has taken years of therapy to throw off his nasty parting devaluations.. He told me I was too vulnerable anyway amidst other things that made me a waste of space and he recently even blocked me from liking his posts on Facebook.
I smile about this now knowing its all okay and I do understand and the last thing I want to do is demonize him.. But when I read that comment it sparked a need to share about this issue and I would be most interested to read the view of others, especially men into how this post resonates for them. So please do not be too shy to leave a comment below.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
In psychology 101 students identify personally with many psychological disorders or label others the same. Most of the time it is an inaccurate assessment, way shy of being a diagnosable disorder, but certainly a whisper of some unflattering traits. There are men out there as you describe them and all along the continuum to the opposite pole of being comfortable with their masculinity/feministy ratio. They have traits that if taken in isolation can be inaccurately depicted. The rise you see in my mind or perception may be related to the increasing intolerance in our nation and rising anti-other sentiments dominating extremist views and more and more Main Street discourse. The heart of your post though, raises is male inferiority the primary driver of hostility or a need to be superior to women? Sometimes. I fear other times it is not an unconscious process but rather a very conscious process for unhealthy desires for money, power, pleasure and status. How many times have we seen a politician who is vehemently anti-LGBTQ issues turn out to have LGBTQ identity issues? I guess whether any person abusing power, whether by conscious decision with awareness or a repressed wounded psyche, still comes down to the behavior being unacceptable? Putting men aside the famous ACES study presents a story that trauma experiences in early life manifest itself in later adult life. I am always wary of lines like I don’t mean to offend or judge, but…! My own reaction is sadness. If all the men in your circles are a little evil and fit this description more so than not, this is a very sad situation. If only everyone had therapy to just truly get centered and balanced, aware, and prepared for the velocity of situations that we will face in our lives, we would be a healthier society! This is not even touching transference, counter transference and assumptions we hold about others that maybe totally inaccurate. It is also fair to say that men feel very threatened by changing employment opportunities. This has been happening for decades…a longer story. Deep post…probably better as an exposure/encounter retreat with your inner self!
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Yes I felt sad for the people in that woman’s circle and I do agree about therapy, sadly not everyone os open to looking at themselves and making themselves vulnerable.
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“Being too empathic we collapse emotional intelligence to keep the peace.” Wow did that resonate for me, as an (overly) empathetic woman. I think I lost myself in every relationship to that toxic way of relating. I agree with so much of what you say. Thank you for this post.
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Sadly I am still doing it and leaning tough lessons.. How are you managing with it now?
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We all have, both masculine, and feminine sides of, personalities within us, and, when the feminine and masculine become imbalanced, that’s, usually when we start, experiencing, the mental stresses, and, if we don’t balance our parts out correctly, then, these stresses may become, mental, disorders and, causing us a whole lot of, unnecessary, troubles.
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So true
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Not that great. I recognize it though, which is a big step. It gets in my way less often now. I’ve also shrunk my social circle, so ppl who took advantage of it, are no longer in my life.
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That all sounds very positive.
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The men I know in my life are quiet and distant, not because they are angry or mean but because they no longer trust any woman (so they tell me) – even the man who loves me so deeply does so with an edge of anger – he sees it as a weakness. He and I talk and he is also a writer we are happy yet he resents the happiness of being loved
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Then there is my father. Tall and strong, cowboy tough and gruff. A real Clint Eastwood type. I know that I am his favorite child and special because I am his only daughter. He worries for me because he sees the world today as completely hostile and alien.
I wish I knew how to encourage these men in my life, without being a threat to whatever existential struggle they are fighting. But I know I cannot since their struggle is something I cannot see so I cannot help them.
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Oh my that’s all.so.lovely in a way to read, even if heartbreakingly sadly. So many men need us to soften into the feminine to show compassion for what may be hidden under a bluff exterior. This has made me cry and feel truths so deep…my dad was also so quiet and my brother too. Thanks so much for your valuable and sensitive feedback. Pray to rhe angels for a way forward. I will do so too. It sounds like your partner has been so badly hurt at some stage..
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