It is a beautiful world with love and joy everywhere if we really seek it and what I am beginning to understand even more and more is that my negative fear filled attitude is what can really bring me down..
Melaine Beckler mentioned in her recent talk on today’s lunar eclipse just passed a few hours ago that it is a time of death and rebirth.. With the Moon in Scorpio during this time we can go into the flames of our own buried shadow stuff or old pain and burn it up emerging in time like a Phonenix from the ashes.. She also mentioned joy rising as a result of this process. I also think a lot of tears being shed in the lead up to this Full Moon show a lot of heavy ancestral pain is being purged. I have learned enough by now to surrender to the tears and let them wash me through.
I awoke to the clearest washed clean morning today everything was literally glistening.. I could feel the love in mother nature, the final third of leaves are falling off the trees and everything just seemed infused with light.. I had the thought as Jasper and I headed out to get breakfast supplies and for a short stint to the park that spirit is as essential to my life as breath and then there is the breath of the holy spirit that we can feel inside of our hearts, in some ways like a flame that may flicker and almost die due to the trauma we are coming out of but is longing to burst into full flame and grows stronger in the allowing beneficent presence of the divine.
I was also awake at 3 am last night standing on the wet deck breathing in the cool late autumn freshness looking up at that full moon appearing almost like a fog like behind small clouds and tinged by the forward drop of spectral bare tulip tree branches.. I recognized again how alive nature is and with the Sun still in the final part of Taurus it is the earth calling to us at this eclipse.. We had the new Moon two weeks ago and since then I am loving the sensations of aliveness I feel as I also still weather those trauma cascades that so often come from past pain and fear and deep feeling I have that nothing good can ever work out for me. I am recognizing that the seeds of deeply entrenched fear go way back in and down deep in me. Neither of my parents stood on very solid ground and could not pass on feelings of support.
I am also really wanting to stop therapy.. My therapist is not getting some things lately and it not her fault, I just think there comes a time to walk on alone and trust our own heart and gut and soul even when those around us do not.. that seems to tally with this eclipse being a time we say goodbye to old things so a new path may open up for us.. Only we can know in our heart and soul when that time is right.
I am also enjoying reading two daily readers Trust Life which contains readings from Louise Hay and my Marianne Williamson daily reader A Year of Miracles, this week. Her work, as some of you know, is based on A Course in Miracles and it really speaks to me. We so often project fear, blame, shame and guilt on others.. I have realized lately that as toxic as my inner critic can be, my outer critic is often vile too. I am learning how to gaze on my fellow humans with love and compassion, when I do this life just feels better, it feel so much freer to me.. I will close out today’s update with a piece from that book titled On Invoking Love.
People who are always telling us what’s wrong with us don’t help us so much as they paralyze us with shame and guilt. People who accept us help us to feel good about ourselves, to relax, to find our way. Accepting another person doesn’t mean we never share constructive suggestions. But like everything else, our behavior is not so much the issue as the energy it carries. If I’m criticizing someone in order to change them, that’s my ego talking. If I’ve prayed and asked God to heal me of my judgement however, and then I’m still led to communicate something, the style of my sharing will be one of love instead of fear. It won’t carry the energy of attack, but rather of support. Behavioral change is not enough. Covering an attack with sugary icing, with a sweet tone of voice, or therapeutic jargon, is not a miracle. A miracle is an authentic switch from fear to love. When we speak from the ego, we will invoke the ego in others. When we speak from love, we will invoke their love.
Let love guide you today.. Center deep inside your heart and listen to the call of that flame in your life, leading you towards what most brings you joy.
Emerging From The Dark Night 