Not all of us feel welcome in this world, those of us with silently held neglect feelings of abandonment or loss often feel alone and that we may be broken in some way.. I was introduced to the writing of a man called Henri Nouwen many years ago by one of my friends in recovery.. The book in question was called The Quiet Voice of the Soul, Nouwen wrote it in the midst of a very painful depression, he went to live and do ministry too within a community of disabled people during that time in his life, and what he learned during this time about his own feelings of spiritual homelessness informed several other books on depression, self rejection, belonging and feeling lost.
The book that I really love of his is called The Life of the Beloved in it he explores how we come to feel broken and how, by not rejecting these deep feelings but making meaning from them we can come into a relationship with ourselves and God or the love of the Universe and through those relationships we can also begin to reach out to our fellow man from a more vulnerable and real part of us.. I guess this is a very similar message in many ways to the one espoused by philosopher Alain de Botton and his School of Life.. It is through embracing these tender and vulnerable parts ourselves that we can, in time, unlearn patterns of intense self criticism, fear and self rejection and come to know ourselves as both beloved and blessed.
The sad thing, and its something I heard in therapy as an inner voice from my guides yesterday, is that it is often the loveliest people in this world who end up being rejected or bullied.. It is only those too who have the courage to be different and not adapt just to belong who may also often find themselves exiled to the wilderness. But surely this exile can come to be seen as a gift. We can also begin to learn and understand how we keep the rejection ongoing by feeding the inner critic or toxic Super Ego that keeps us so deeply wedded to victim consciousness, replayed suffering and emotional pain.
I am a bit tired this after noon to post any quotes from Nouwen here, but I will close this with two very good videos from The School of Life on overcoming toxic inner voices. It is something so many of us struggling with trauma and Complex PTSD experience but then so do a lot of people in society who then come to turn the criticism or toxic shame out onto others in order to hide their own wounds, or vulnerability.
Emerging From The Dark Night 