Trust, truth and depth of connection : reflections on the consequences of avoidant attachment

Trust is so important to feeling safe enough to be true and real. And sometimes we have to take the risk to trust, but if trust has been precarious or ended in abandonment a lot before and in our young early lives it makes it harder for us to ask for support, allow ourselves to feel it is safe enough to be real and true or honest.  We may then need to move into denial, self negation and avoidance as a defence.  We may come to believe that we have to survive alone, keep our real self and true feelings thoughts and perceptions hidden.   We may learn that we cannot depend and therefore we won’t realise or accept that others need support at times.  We may come to feel that expressing needs is a sign of weakness, we may then develop a false self who is strong and invulnerable when really that is…