Ever been guilted or shamed by a bully you tried to avoid, due to them just being so toxic they were doing your head in, only to then feel like you have hurt them in some way and ‘should’ be feeling bad? Makes sense to me now being so lucky as to have a great support on understanding bullying the form of Cherie White’s blog.. Thank you Cherie 🙂
It occurs to me this is what happened to me time and again.. The bully has the right to do to you what ever they want. They can blame and get angry at you for calling them out, they can shame dump you for being a ‘coward’ and running away.. If you get caught back up in this ‘game’ you may end up having an injury..
I have a growing sense that when a sensitive person feels overwhelming feelings in the presence of someone with more of a leaning towards the narcissistic end of the empathy/narcissism spectrum it is they who can then become the channel for all of those feelings which flood back into them since the other person is not open to receive them.
The other person if defended may incite the more emotive person to act in increasingly ‘crazy’ ways (their definition), they can then mock, disparage, shame or isolate them and then walk away shaking their head.. but the point is you were not really ‘crazy’ for experiencing a high intensity of feeling. As a sensitive in that challenging situation, you were having a, (for you), normal reaction. They chose to devalue and then that plays in (if you accept it) to your own sense of being undervalued.
Its not an easy tangle to break yourself out of this messy entanglement. There are lots of people out there (lacking true internal power) who thrive on power over.. But Carl Jung expressed it very astutely when he said
The opposite of love is not hate, it is the will to power.
This I am talking of as power ‘over’ someone else as opposed to the taking back of your own legitimate power which is the inner power to know what you know, feel what you feel and express as your true self. But sadly there are those invested in denying you this.. They are the controllers as called out by Patricia Evans in her book Controlling People. These are the ones that will seek to define you and make you ‘unreal’. You are right to avoid them but do not run thinking they own the power.. all they want to do is over power you and that my dear friend IS NOT ABOUT TRUE STRENGTH AT ALL.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
It’s basically, the fight or flight responese that we get in, how we are, socialized from when we were, children, and, how we react, when we get, cornered by something unpleasant in our, childhoods, that we started, using the means of, reacting to the stimuli as we became, adults, because it had, worked for us from before, didn’t matter if, it’s, maladaptive or not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well when you over powered or are not allowed a way out its either fight, freeze or roll over. And yes those become mal-adaptive in time.
LikeLike