Lately the emotional messes I get in around males and their calls for me to fix something in their lives has been filling me with self recrimination. About a month ago someone I connected with on Instagram wanted money to help his daughter, apparently he was miles away and needed a phone card she was in hospital. It may seem horribly selfish but I refused, I’ve already left money to men on 4 different occasions only never to see a cent of it, I then broke contact as he was using every tactic to get me to buckle under the pressure.
Yesterday I opened the door to him all around the full moon and he basically called me an unkind, avoidant bitch. Ouch. Part of me was taking it all in again, the guilt of not helping honestly at 8pm I was down on the floor crying and crying and praying so hard, the minute we connected my energy went haywire.
What came through from Archangel Michael when I prayed is that I got pulled into the abandonment karma around he and his daughter. They lost her Mum 5 years ago and he goes a very very long way away to work. I just do not get it. I don’t want to judge but in some level what he us doing is a mirror of how Dad abandoned me. I was advised by AM to delete the app we were talking on and do energy clearing work, as all of this was going on the amount of grief pouring out was intense. I’m still crying and beating myself up so much about my house and my struggle to maintain it.
Later when I got into bed his ex wife’s spirit started coming through she confirmed it is not my issue to fix but I still feel for his daughter.
This just goes to show me again something I touched on in an earlier post about how vibrationally our own wounding attracts wounding in others that resonates. But I will not stick around to be guilted and shamed anymore. As an astrological note I am currently having my annual Venus return as it squares natal Neptune in Scorpio in the third house.
Its difficult to share about this. I know we are put on earth to help each other but I get so sick of being drained, thank God for the support I get from other empaths. But this might have highlighted how much pain at times I still carry around my wounded relationship with my Dad, as much as I don’t want to hold resentment how he treated me left deep hidden vulnerabilities and scars I am still working through.
Emerging From The Dark Night 