Tears (hidden grief)

I still have so many tears inside me

I have not shed

They come to a head when I read of how

You suffered too

Forced to maintain a stiff upper lip

As you slowly walked

Young fists clenched

Behind the coffin

That held her dead body

Sometimes life is cruel

Living inside a dark dark kingdom

What loving presence was there

As the dead body of it lay

Bleeding

Far beneath

Those most ancient of lands

I am glad you found a young woman

To love you

To hopefully hold your hand

With tenderness

And I understand why you felt the need to escape

After all

It is what we must do

When forced to hold all of this pain

So very very deep inside

Under the cover

Of silence

My tears are drying a little now

As my own awareness grows

And I feel the hunger too

To particpate and belong

I buried under scorn

The world is not a hard place

When we have the ability to recognise

True warmth

For even when the ice kingdom

Is all we ever ever seem

To have known

Surely

Amidst all of this pain and self recrimination

Understanding of your past

Will silently grow

As these tears of yours water the seeds

Bursting free

Giving life to

Tender young shoots

Bravely emerging

From deep within this

Harrowing and fertile ground

Of hidden grief