I know how important gratitude and positivity is to our mental health.. That is why, sometimes when I post an angry diatribe about family I get overcome with guilt.. I try to shift perspective to try and see things from the other side, after all we all struggle in this life in different ways and who knows if my own wound at times is not projected onto others, when I have an expectation that is then dashed or become disappointed, what can I do to become more aware and less hardened into brittleness or defensiveness, finding ways to let go or shift forward in courage or action, not becoming swallowed in angry self pity?
When we do our fourth step in AA we have to face where our resentment comes from, what need in us or longing that was rejected or crushed then led us to become hard or nasty or full of vitriol? This seems to me to be the mature way to handle things.. That said some of us have big backlog of pain or hurt, a very strong pain body or wounded inner child and in the end as adults its up to us to take care of that part of us.
This is one of the things I love about Scott. If I ever get upset he always reminds me of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians about love.. He always prays and never blames me for what is not my fault, in fact I have noticed lately sometimes he tends to blame himself too much. But on the other side, lately when he has pulled on me and asked me not to abandon him I try to remind him not to make me his source, for after all, in this crazy mixed up world our source of power and healing should be God, a sense of Good Orderly Direction even maybe the chaos that comes about too though in our lives may have some major lessons for us and perhaps, at times, instead of trying to control more or resist things more, it may be best for us to surrender, knowing we cannot see and know all things.
I am remembering to count my blessings this afternoon..I have a brother who tries to keep connecting at times even when he misunderstands me.. I have food and a roof over my head and all of my needs are met. I am not a child yet but maybe to him I will always be his baby sister, I just do not know.. I would rather keep an attitude of love about things..
I also wanted to share here today a lovely prayer that the Archangel Micheal gave to Lorna Byrne many years ago. When her publishers first published her book Angels In My Hair they apparently wanted to change the wording of this prayer.. Archangel Micheal told her it must not be changed, so this is a powerful prayer that comes from heavenly forces that see and watch and know and wait so patiently upon us, wounded humans to turn back to the source of power, light, love, guidance and healing…
Pour out thy healing Angels,
Thy heavenly host upon me,
And upon those I love.
Let me feel the beam of thy healing Angels upon me.
The light of your healing hand.
I will let thy healing begin,
Whatever way God grants it
Amen
Emerging From The Dark Night 