Today my attention turned towards something I came to understand as my recovery progressed and particularly as I read some very helpful chapters in the Al Anon book Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses that is of the complex connection between anger and grief. Anger may come when we feel something is taken from us or, we were prevented from some desire or happiness we valued, longed for or cherished. The loss may be due to something we missed out on in childhood, the grief may be over hurts done to us or by us to ourselves when we did not know better.. As adult children we can also feel angry and sad over the fact we never learned our needs were valuable and important, nor how to focus on them without feeling selfish.
These feelings may be huge and we need to find a place to go with them.. Some seek therapy, a kind friend or they journal (like me), we can also turn to prayer and meditation as well as the sense of a greater containing force to help us bear with and manage these feelings.
The following reading taken from p 147 of Opening Our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses is on how we can bring a spiritual connection with our higher power into our lives on a daily basis along with self care..
Prayer and meditation have gotten many of us through our toughest hours when we felt most powerless or afraid. We may choose to recite prayers or be more spontaneous in the form our ‘prayer’ takes. Taking a walk in nature, looking at a painting, reading a poem that draws us inward, feeding the birds in our back yard, or caring for the plants in our garden – there are many different ways that we can nurture our spirit.
The awareness of a power greater than ourselves has helped many of us feel less alone in our grief. One member discovered that her loneliness presented a very powerful opportunity to draw closer to her higher power. During our most intense moments of grief, our vulnerability can become the doorway through which we invite our higher power more fully into our lives.. Some prayers have words, some are silent . Perhaps the type of prayer or amount of time spent in meditation is not nearly so important as making the effort to connect with something larger than us.
‘At times the only prayer I could say was “God Help Me”‘
Emerging From The Dark Night 