Staying alive

The deep soul loneliness will not show

As you break you body to stay alive

There will be rivers of feeling running through you

That wash on through

But in response

Times of deep confusion when

You do not know what to do

To keep yourself and others alive

And so you just do what you can

Answering the call when someone cries out to you

In despair

But what then

Of your own needs

Where do they go

If you have had to travel

So very far away

From Self care

And yet,

At times

That Self

The constructed identity

Becomes a prison

Who knows at this point

Exactly where liberation lies

Perhaps in your early death

When the exhaustion of trying and failing

So many times

Finally brings about

Your own demise

(I do not think I will die soon but at times all that pressure of things I carry does overwhelm me.. This poem is just an attempt to come to terms with those feelings because often the fear of death becomes intense and is associated with each step I take each day to come more fully alive as my authentic self.)