holding (heaven)

i struggled to hold you

you were a wild thing that thrived on the breath of wind and freedom but lived deep inside a dark house where larger humans cast painful heavy suffocating shadows over you

now I see and feel it all the ways the things cut into you and how little control you had over it all and how angry you were and how you

turned that anger

against yourself

this is why for many of us healing will only truly come

as we take up the sword and cut away the entangling brambles with the thorns that go so deeply in underneath our skin and engage with the witch that in hating it all kept us in prison

but who will take into their own hands the golden sword that they were told is an evil weapon by the powers that be that wish to keep them enslaved?

be fearless and brave young warrior do not feed your undeserved shame any more

use all of that pain to cut yourself free while you use all of the struggle and anger to fashion strong wings of gossamer gold that will enable you to find you way home

to heaven