One precious gift of these years since Mum passed in 2017 has been building a relationship with the daughter of my grandmother’s, great nephew, Ron.. Julie has done so much of the research on our families history and traced the alcoholism back to my Nana’s side. That investigative research also helped me to find out some years ago that we are related to a man called Francis Tregian who stood up to Queen Elizabeth in the 1500s and ended up doing time in prison, and after being liberated by James the first, offered refuge in Spain. Tregian was later acknowledged to be saint as his body did not decay following burial and like many of those who worked to help the persecuted Catholics he was martyred and ended up being buried standing upright in Lisbon in Portugal where he resided following his time in Spain.
All of that aside over past years Julie took it upon herself to take care of her mother rather than allow her to be put into a home or aged care facility where she could have been subjected to medical damage, in fact when this was happening Julie fought to change it as she fought to address her own carried epigenetic predispositions to both anxiety and depression as as adult grandchild of an alcoholic who himself had a host of unresolved loss.
Julie got her self off all medications many years ago and by doing a lot of research was able to find those vitamins and supplements that helped her to minimize her anxiety and depression and that is something I do admire greatly.
Julie and I have been talking a lot over the past few weeks and sharing old photos and other information.. Through Julie have been able to find out more about my mother’s grandfather Arthur Warwick Harrison, Mum was also given the second name Warwick and due to this her birth was mistakenly registered as being that Nana gave birth to a boy, something Mum only found out many years later when applying for her birth certificate in order to get a pass port issued.
Sadly I heard last night that Julie’s Mum had a blockage in the bowel.. We were texting back and forward a few times and when I sent a text today to see how she was she told me the sad news that her Mum and passed away at 2.20 am.. I woke just after 2 am this morning and then slept until 7 am, this morning I did not have any pulling after breakfast either..
I just wanted to acknowledge Julie today because she is a very lovely human being who is so empathic and struggled so hard to understand her own neglect. Julie suffered bullying and non acceptance by her own sister and it occurred to me last night how blessed I was when my relationship with my only living sister remained so problematic to have this relationship with Julie come into my life a year after Mum died.. Julie had been trying to find out what had happened to Mum but kept hitting blocks but someone she worked with knew my son’s oldest son’s children from a school that her own children attended and in that way Julie was able to seek information and find out that Mum died.. In time she found me on Facebook even though I am listed there under my married name and since 2018 we have been building a very beautiful friendship which means so much to me in the absence of other family connections.
Julie took care of her Mum for many years, she loved her, was kind, showed empathy and attempted to help her final years be less painful. In the text Julie sent me a while ago she told me how much the incidence of Covid had changed her Mum from someone soft and kind to a person more fearful and tormented which just goes to show how much the occurrence of this pandemic can osmotically effect all of us..
I prayed a lot last night to the angels and ancestors.. I feel no doubt Julie’s Mum is finally free in her soul now.. I am sad I cannot go to the funeral which is in another state but will be holding Julie in my thoughts and prayers all the time. Some lives have so much trauma and suffer from parental rejection and yet the more we work to understand this the greater can be our capacity to be insightful and not personalize the damage so much, taking it on as an identity.. Apparently Julie’s mother was born to a prostitute so the illegitimate nature of the birth marked her in later life, the mother must have married someone new but he ended up rejecting his own daughter. Then that pain also filtered down to Julie as avoidance and neglect. Despite this she kept loving and being there. She had the fighting spirit to protect just as our ancestor Francis Tregian did.
I am so so blessed to know and be connected to Julie and even though she does not read my blog I just wanted to take some time out today to honor her here. There are real heroines that live among us whose silent efforts go unseen.. not that we need the attention but to know that someone honored the pain of a feminine ancestor and worked to understanding and forgiveness should surely serve as an example to us all.
Emerging From The Dark Night 