There are times we will be criticized, sometimes it can involve attack and projection on another’s part, there is a part of the shadow you express they have an adversarial reaction to and that is their stuff.. I had a saying come to me when I was trying to work through so much painful boundary confabulation in a past relationship where we both carried aspects of each other’s shadows that said “no one can reject you, they can only reject a part of themselves in you they have not yet made friends or peace with.”
That makes sense to me.. At the moment rage over old hurts is very close to the surface sometimes I almost feel it blowing my head apart and when this happens around the time of day my older sister fell to the ground with an aneurysm or at the time of day I was flung through the air to hit my head on that iron foundry obliterating time again only to come to both profoundly disoriented and retriggered into old flashbacks that have not left me to this day, it scares me and feels as if I am dying or not long for this earth
No one see this but my dog, the way by body is thrown around, sucked and pulled, there are spots of blood on my curtains and walls and this was all foretold in a very powerful dream I had when first connecting with my first Jungian therapist who was the one whose rooms I was leaving in June 2005 when I had the second crash.
So as far as I am concerned now you can fucking criticize me all you want you can scream at me in a comment to move on or to get a grip but that is your stuff, really.. Cause I know I am doing the best I can EVEN WHEN IT IS FAR FROM PERFECT.
For me, I try to encourage and uplift people, I do not try to impose my will or instruct them any more after all their choices are theirs to make as are their mistakes which may be the very ones they need to make to learn something..
There that is my rant for the late morning today.
Lately I think I will remember those words from AA “take what makes sense to you and leave the rest” because not everything others say is fact and sometimes it comes out of projection, defense, or even a mistaken perception.
Emerging From The Dark Night 