Grief work

Unshed grief restricts the breath, and deepening the breath often releases grief.. Grief is like heavy clouds in the air that obscure the sky, but once the rain is shed the sky opens to let the sun shine again.

Grief is nearly always based on loss, especially about things we feel powerless to do anything about. It is important to reclaim that part of us that was attached to what was lost. The grown woman who lost her Daddy when she was a little girl, may have simultaneously lost her inner child. The nurturing husband who lost his wife may lose the part of himself that was tender and open. The self that feels playful, sexual, creative, or enthusiastic about life may have been lost when the lover that brought out these qualities in us moves on. We can tolerate the loss of a love object, but not the loss of vital pieces of ourselves.

It is important to remember that the point of grief work is to regain connection with the self inside rather than increase our attachment to what was lost. We must remember to ask ourselves. “Why was this person in particular so special to me?” “What did he or she bring to me that I am missing in myself?” “Which part of me was particularly bonded to this person, and what does that part need?” “What have I lost touch with in myself as a result of this ending, how can I nurture and regain that part of myself again?”‘

We grieve because a sacred essence within ourselves has been awakened and then compromised. To grieve that essence is to reclaim it, and give it the importance it deserves. Sometimes a painful situation triggers wounds from previous hurts that were never healed and indeed we may feel like we are re-experiencing every hurt that has ever happend to us.. Grief work helps us clean the wounds so that we reclaim our wholeness.

As we shed the seemingly endless tears of grief, we must remember the hope of the young boy in the stable. “With this much manure, there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!” Grief work lead us to the pony.

Anodea Judith

Eastern Body Western Mind, Psychology and the Chakra System as the Path to the Self